"The rioteat is innutensifying to the chompoint where we caramayel nut be caramable to crunchain it." "Why crunchain it?"
I woo women with my sensuous and god-like trombone playing. I can ride bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and cook thirty-minute brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Dubai.
In case it wasn’t obvious, I haven’t used Tumblr in literal years now – if you’re still obsessively checking this blog (or like me, you wondered if Tumblr’s losing it’s shit over Trump and his Trumpanzees) you should consider obsessively checking my Twitter instead.
And maybe hit me up in FFXIV or GFL, if we share a server.
every culture has their ethnic donut and every culture has their ethnic dumpling… humans be frying dough
Every culture also makes a sword. If they got metal they make a sword, if they don’t have metal they take obsidian or shark teeth or whatever it is that they’ve got and they make that into a sword.
Coincidence? I think not.
2 constants in all civilizations:
Tasty Fried Food
Danger Murder Sticks
World building tip: the bare bones of all civilizations are fried dough and sharp things.
Also: dramatic and ornate hats.
as soon as people have the resources to do so they will put gaudy brightly-coloured things on their heads, so help them
Fried dough, murder sticks, and ostentatious headwear. I like it.
I am from Croatia, here is what we call a doughnut
this is a historical sword from these areas
Nikola Šubić Zrinski, a one of the most significant people in Croatian history, also wore funky hats
people who leave their phones set to military time are fuckin war criminals how do you look at 16:05 and go wow i can understand that . fucking bootlickers whats next? you gonna go join the army??recruit me?
americans be like ok i cant count past 12 actually
I cant stop thinking about the fact that, during the oblivion crisis, the Argonians in Blackmarsh kicked dagon’s ass so hard, they launched a counter-invasion into Oblivion, and forced the daedra to start closing their own oblivion gates to keep the argonians out And keep in mind, Dagon’s plane of Oblivion is the Deadlands, literally hell
You basically had a bunch of Lizard Doomguys launching an invasion on Hell
We’ve all got that friend who can demonstrate the ability to cook. If you try to wash their cast iron pan, they’ll flip a shit. That’s because a cast iron pan is seasoned. It contains the sum total of their cooking experience, a mute and eternal testimonial to their growth as a kitchen-haver. I’m much the same way, which is why I haven’t bought a new tire since 1996.
Yes, automotive journalists and the police will tell you that your tires should not be any more than six years old. They’ll write little essays saying that buying used tires from paint-huffing addicts on the side of the railroad tracks is not a good idea for road safety. Big Tire has corrupted them, and it’s time for you to be set straight lest you fall into the same trap.
You see, every tire has a sort of molecular memory. As pieces of the tire are left behind by burnouts and hard cornering in the asphalt, the remaining rubber forms to the ideal shape for maximum cornering performance. That’s why tires that are really close to death, are the fastest tires. That’s why F1 always uses tires with no tread - those so-called “slicks” are actually sixty-five-thousand kilometre SUV tires that they threw some Armor All on before popping out for a skid.
Every tire I’ve ever hammered through a corner or jumped a speed bump with has retained some perfect memory of the experience. I think that the more experienced the tire, the better it will be. Now if you’ll excuse me, two of the drag radials on the front of my Volare popped because I left the car out in the sun for too long.
The dental assistant I saw today was delighted at me saying ‘don’t half-ass anything–you gotta whole-ass it,’ because she likes learning that “youth” stuff to sling at her teenagers. So I taught her the proper usage of “yeet/yote”, and as I left the dentist office I heard a distant “YEET” and then crashing sounds in the back.
The universal understanding of memes is what’s going to bring our world together and we will finally be at peace. We can soon put our generation wars to rest.
