Category: Star Bottlecap% Malcomless No OOB

RSS Archive

"The rioteat is innutensifying to the chompoint where we caramayel nut be caramable to crunchain it."
"Why crunchain it?"

I woo women with my sensuous and god-like trombone playing. I can ride bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and cook thirty-minute brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Dubai.

Theme

About Das Twitter Webcomic: A Door In Nowhere Skeleton Facts Filter Posts Ask me stuff Post something for me

November 28, 2017

unpretty:

FAVORITE THINGS: victor von doom doing a mental risk/reward analysis like “you know what? when this girl was fourteen she covered me in squirrels. have i rodent-proofed my shit since then? yes. am i in the mood to get covered in fucking squirrels again? literally never. god knows what new powers she’s found since puberty. let the little devil-imp take the goddamn time machine. fuck it. who cares. she’ll probably just end up using it to go back in time and tell herself to never come here. that’s how 90% of all time travel ends. another 5% ends with me as undisputed ruler of the entire earth. i’m not even giving her the good time machine. it’s the janky one. joke’s on her, the a/c doesn’t even work and the tapedeck is broken. doom, as ever, is the real winner here.”

(via seananmcguire)

10:34am